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7.06.2007

Who would have thunk it?

Its hard to think that this time three years ago, just 36 measly, short months ago, I was living in Colorado Springs, attending Higher Praise and Worship Church and not really thinking too much about the future, or what God had in store for me. I was growing in the Lord, and learning more and more about him each day. I was being stretched in my worship of Him, in my thought process about Him and in my relationship with Him. Things were good. Then, I remember two years ago I was in the emotional thralls of preparing to move across the country to start a church. I had one emotional breakdown after another from wondering what God was doing in my life, to wondering whether God was even real. I had real bouts of anxiety and depression all wrapped up with actually being excited about moving to Detroit. I said goodbye to some of the best friends anyone could have and set off on the adventure of a lifetime. Life was exciting. Last year I was getting settled into Detroit. I had just finished one of the hardest years of my life trying to get adjusted to being away from family, not having very many friends and trying figure out what it was God was calling me to do. We had decided to help an existing church in Detroit as opposed to starting a church of our own. I was playing guitar in the church, being stretched in my playing and actually getting to be able to play by ear. I was learning that its okay to lift my hands in worship to God. For me, the church stuff was going pretty good, but I was still wondering why God had brought me all this way. This brings me to today. Its hard to try to cram three years of life into a few sentences, but I only metioned all that to say this: God is unpredictable. Just when you think you have things figured out he does something to bring you out of your comfort zone. He brings you to a place where you have no one else to trust but Him. On March 30 my Uncle Bob died suddenly of a massive heart attack while on vacation in Hawaii. I went to the funeral in Arizona, and for the first time I didn't really want to come back to Detroit. I wasn't ready. On previous trips to Phoenix, I've been READY to get back here, but this time I wasn't. I didn't know it yet, but God was moving. When everything happened with the church here, I really started to question what I was supposed to do. I started feeling like maybe it's time to leave Michigan and go back to Colorado. Actually, thats what I was hoping for, but that wasn't the case. It felt like God was leading me to move to Phoenix... Arizona..... Hot and ugly. What?? No, God couldn't possibly be moving me in that direction because that is NOT what I want to do. And isn't there a verse that says God will give you the desires of your heart? (Yes, Psalm 37:4) So, I held on to that verse thinking.....knowing......PRAYING that God will not make me do what I don't want to do. Thats when God gave me the desire of my heart: but instead of letting me stay in Michigan which is what the desire of my heart had been, he changed the desire in my heart. He GAVE me the desire of my heart! He changed my heart from wanting to stay in Michigan to wanting to move to Phoenix. Trust me when I say, ONLY God could do that!! Phoenix is hot (my Mom said it was 116 there this week), dry, sandy, ugly, big, far and I want to go there. So, it looks like sometime at the end of the year I'll be heading out on a new adventure......another adventure.....or perhaps a continuation of the adventure I'm currently on. Whatever the adventure is: I definitely know these three things: 1. That God is truly leading and guiding me in this decision. 2. That He will go with me wherever I go and 3. No matter what anyone says: I'm going to freaking MELT!!!

2 comments:

Sara said...

Wow, that sounds amazing, and yes, you will melt. Keep us posted!

BrendaB said...

I would have loved for you to move back to the Springs... personally, but you moving to Arizona sits well in my heart.