Be Careful what you ask for...

Its a dangerous thing - asking God to rend your heart.

Because He will.

And the result of that prayer is a rended heart. A broken heart.

This past week God has really emphasized in my life my total, complete and absolute need for dependence on Him. In the past, when I would struggle with anxiety or sin or whatever - my first thought would be, "Okay, I need to get someone on the phone or text someone and ask them to pray for me." Now, there is nothing wrong with asking people to pray for us when we are struggling, the bible calls us to bear one anothers burdens, however, I was turning to people for help first, and not to God.

I just returned from a trip of a lifetime to Hawaii (which, there are photos of on Facebook...) It was an amazing trip! Since coming home, I've struggled with heightened emotions and being overly sensitive. Not sure why, other than I asked God to break my heart.

And He answered.

And I am turning to Him each morning for strength to make it through my day. And he is giving me all the strength I need.

Romans 5:3-5 "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

This verse always made sense to me before - but know I "get" it. No one likes suffering. However, I know me. I am sorry to say that I do not fully rely on God when things are going great. When everything is going perfect, I tend to forget about Him. Not something I'm proud of. So when there is a struggle, as minor as it may be - anxiety, worry, doubt, some sin struggle - those are the things that are keeping me on my knees. And though at times it sucks, I'm so grateful for the struggle. I'm actually rejoicing in my sufferings because its keeping me face to face with God. And now that I'm here - face to face with God - there is no limit to what He can do in my life. He can take this broken, rended heart and mold it into what he had planned all along.

Amazing, huh?

Okay - so church update:
Not sure if I mentioned this before, but the name of the church has been finalized - we are now officially Portico Church!!
You can take a look at the website here:
We have found a building in the Hollywood district of Portland, and will begin monthly services on August 15th. The official launch of the church will be September 19th. Thats 10 weeks away!!

So I would like to ask you all to pray for some things for the church:
1. Finances - In order to start this church - we are going to need funds. I know God can do anything!
2. Leadership/Directional Team - Please pray for the leaders of this church who have to make decisions and hear from God about direction.
3. Mark and Tracy Seger - Please pray for them as they lead this group. Please pray that God provide financially for them as they devote their lives to this call.
4. City of Portland - Please pray for the city of Portland. Just know God picked this place for a reason.

Thank you for reading and praying and following me and my rantings. Love you all!