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6.28.2007

Weird Dreams....

Okay, so I've had some strange dreams here the last few days. The latest one, though I think I'm going to try to interperet on my own, see if you agree. So, in my dream, I'm in some big auditorium, and some sort of service or program was about to start (maybe like church or something), and I was supposed to be playing the guitar. I'm talking to people before the show and now its almost time to start. Well, I'm ready, the people in the program are ready, but I can't find my guitar anywhere. Everywhere I look I find guitars, but they're not my guitar. Now, I know that doesn't seem like a very long dream....but I was looking for my guitar for a long time, okay? :) Anyway, so now I wonder what the dream means. I don't think every dream has to mean something....but I think this one does. I've recently been trying to figure out a lot of things in my life. My purpose and my calling and stuff like that. I've always thought, well, I play guitar in my church, so thats my calling. But now, being without a church I don't have that anymore. I've also recently thought about really getting going and maybe recording a CD of my music. So in the dream maybe I'm searching for my calling, my music and its elusive. Or, maybe I'm searching for my calling and I THINK its music, but its really not, and thats why I couldn't find my guitar. And what is the deal with all the different guitars and banjos and stuff that wasn't MY guitar? Hmm, maybe I just shouldn't eat sugar right before bedtime...then I'll stop having weird dreams like this all together.

6.26.2007

I'm a Copycat

Okay, so a few of my fellow bloggers are posting 8 random things about themselves, and that sounded like fun so I'm going to copy them.

1. I am considered by some to be one of the funniest people they know, and by others to be the most annoying person they know.

2. I used to have these loud and obnoxious hiccups, but since I moved to Michigan, they've disappeared (now Elaina has them!). ha ha ha ha!!!

3. I have a close friend living in Ghana, West Africa (okay, so thats not technically about me, but I have to take what I can get, okay!?)

4. I got my first gray hair at age 16, and when my hair coloring fades out, I'm probably about 40-50% gray headed.

5. My favorite shampoo is Biolage color care. I only use it about 3 months out of the year, from January to about March...I only get it for Christmas and am too cheap to buy it for myself.

6. I have this......thing for Diet Dr. Pepper. Some would call it an obsession, I would call it.....well, yeah, obsession works...

7. I taught myself many things, crochet, playing guitar, web design....

8. I love my friends... awww

6.22.2007

And now for something completely different...

Sometimes I wonder why things happen the way they do. As you know, I moved to Michigan almost two years ago with lofty hopes to start a church. Those plans changed soon after we got here and we hooked up with the church we’ve been with since we’ve been here. Well, amazingly enough, our plans have changed yet again. We (Pastor Weatherly, Yatron and I) have decided to part ways with the church we’ve been attending and ministering in for two years, and seek the Lord about what he’d have us do now. Unfortunately, this separation has not happened in a good way, and feelings have been hurt. I would ask, if you think of it, to pray for the members of this church. They’re the ones sort of caught in the middle of everything. Forgive me for not going into details about everything that happened, but just know that we know its time to move on. So pray for us, for our next steps and what we’re supposed to do. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the thought that we might actually start a church here now. Sometimes I think, why did God send me here to begin with? There are so many people who could be more effective, a better witness, more faithful….the list goes on and on. I think of how many people must NOT have answered the call for God to have to end up choosing me to go. And then I am reminded, while I’m not everything I think I ought to be: God didn’t settle, when he sent me. He didn’t say, Well, I guess I’ll have to send Aimee, because she’s the only one left that I can send. Fortunately for me, God doesn’t look upon our faults and shortcomings the way we ourselves look at them. When I look at myself I see all the things I need to work on – when God looks at me, he sees perfection because of Jesus. That’s so awesome, huh? Anyway, yeah, its funny how God took us on a 2 year detour, maybe just to get me to realize that its not about what I think, its about what He thinks. And the cool thing about God, is that while he is teaching me one thing through this set of circumstances, he is teaching Yatron something totally different, and Pastor something totally different too. I guess he is able to do that, being God…

6.12.2007

Anxiety

Do you ever find that people don't really talk about the things that they struggle with? I have struggled with a variety of different things through my life, and for some reason, there are times when I am too embarassed or proud or whatever, to talk about it. It stinks, we need to be transparent with each other because maybe the things that I'm going through will help someone else. Or maybe the things you've struggled with will help me. I know that's true when I read emails or blogs from people that I respect, and they're talking about their struggles, it strengthens me to know that we all go through things, and that in the end God really is faithful to deliver. Well, I have dealt with anxiety for a long time - and truthfully thought I had been delivered from it. For the past week or so, though, I have lived with an overwhelming sense of fear and dread. In the past its been about death, or finances, and this time its no different. I know being in God's word more will help, and actually ASKING Him for help will help. I have another close friend who struggles with anxiety and we have both talked about how its not something that is really discussed among Christians. At least not in our circles... I wonder why that is. I've talked about it a little when I've been out at other churches singing, and the response is always the same: Wow, I didn't think other people struggled with that. As I lay in bed last night, my mind racing and not being able to sleep I had to confess to God that I didn't want to give this to him. I didn't think he'd be able to help. Here is the cycle that I seem to go through all the time: It usually starts where I'm down in the dumps for some reason, but then I'll have some sort of mountain top experience with the Lord, and I'll be flying high for usually a few weeks. Then that wears off and I'm still following God and stuff, but not in his word as much as I should be. Then something happens, anxiety or depression will rear its ugly head and I'll take a few steps backward spiritually. I'll stop reading my bible all together. I'll stop praying. I'll start doing things that I know are wrong, that I know I'm just doing to be flat out rebellious, and then I wonder why God doesn't seem real, doesn't seem close. I don't want to go through that anymore. I'm tired of the weeks of mountain top experience followed by months of rebellion and depression. So, as I forced myself to read my bible last night, I read this scripture on spiritual maturity:
Hebrews 5:11-14 "We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil."
God really impressed this on my heart last night, and even now as I read it again. I've been a Christian for many years, over half my life now; I ought to be much further along than I am. I ought to be off the spiritual bottle and on to spiritual steak. I ought to be a leader and not a follower. I ought to be one who encourages and ministers to others, rather than the one always in need of encouragement. I ought to love God with all my heart, all my soul and all my strength, rather than love and serve him only when it suits me.
Okay, so I know this started out about anxiety...and I digressed a bit - forgive me. :) I believe that even when I'm faithless God remains faithful. I know this anxiety and depression will pass, and I'll probably have other mountian top experiences and other deep valley lows....I'm praying for the ability to deal with situations in a mature way, rather than the current way I deal with them. So, if you think about me, lift up a prayer for maturity, because if I can be spiritaully mature, than the other things will fall into place.

6.05.2007

New Song...

I work with a lady, same age as me, and for the longest time I felt the Lord leading me to invite her to church. Well, I know she's been going through a rough time with a divorce and three kids, so I didn't really want to bother her. In January this year one of the other girls we know came to me and said, Did you hear about our friend? I said, No, what? She had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer that spread to her pancreas. She won't be back to work. I had missed my chance. I thought I had all the time in the world to tell her about God, or at the very least to invite her to church. I mean, she's only 29 years old for goodness sake! So, I began to think about the other people in my life that I had an opportunity to share God with but I didn't. This is a song I wrote about these people...

Somewhere Tonight

Becky’s out there somewhere tonight and I hope and pray she’s doing alright
Thirteen years have come and gone since I’ve seen Becky’s face
Every day in our art class, making jokes and praying time would pass
Life went on and now I wonder what Becky’s doing tonight
What Becky’s doing tonight

I kept it secret, why did I never tell
The message of hope that could save her soul from hell
I never told her, she never knew
The light I had inside of me, that she could have it too

Becky’s out there somewhere tonight and I hope and pray she’s doing alright
And somehow by the grace of God I hope that Becky finds the light
That Becky finds the light


Brandi’s out there somewhere tonight and I hope and pray she’s doing alright
Every day we’d go to work and make each other laugh
A couple of times she came to church desperate to find the thing that could end her search
But I moved away and now I wonder what Brandi’s doing tonight
What Brandi’s doing tonight

I kept it secret, why did I never tell
The message of hope that could save her soul from hell
I never told her, she never knew
The light I had inside of me, that she could have it too

Brandi’s out there somewhere tonight and I hope and pray she’s doing alright
And somehow by the grace of God I hope that Brandi finds the light
That Brandi finds the light


Nikki’s out there somewhere tonight and I hope and pray she’s doing alright
I always thought I’d have more time to share the love of Christ
But someone called me late one night and I could tell by their voice something wasn’t right
Sickness had come into Nikki’s body, she was fighting for her life.
She was fighting for her life

I kept it secret, why did I never tell
The message of hope that could save her soul from hell
I never told her, she never knew
The light I had inside of me, that she could have it too

Father forgive me, for what I haven’t done
And give me the boldness to lead others to your Son


Nikki’s out there somewhere tonight and I hope and pray she’s doing alright
And somehow before she runs out of time I hope that Nikki finds the light
That Nikki finds the light
That Brandi finds the light
That Becky finds the light
I pray they all will find your light