Okay, I got goosebumps after this. It is really good and you ALL should watch it! (thanks Holly!!)

I might have teared up a little too, but don't tell anyone...


when God speaks

So, I was supposed to write this post on Friday...but I didn't, sorry.

Do you ever wake up in the morning with a song in your head? Or while you're doing something in the middle of the day you realize there is a song in your head that you haven't heard in a while? And you think, Hmm, why is THAT song in my head, I haven't heard it in a while... (mind you, I'm not talking about having the last song you listened to in your car on your way to work, or the song that woke you up on your clock radio...this is a random song that I haven't heard for a while...). Well, I've learned to listen to these songs that seem to get stuck in my head from nowhere because several times the particular song that is stuck in my "coincedentally" speaks to whatever it is that I may be going through at that time. I think it is a way that God tries to speak to me when He knows that I won't be diving into the Word... (which is awesome in itself, that he speaks to me in my disobedience)

All that to say, this happened to me Friday. This is a song by Relient K called, I So Hate Consequences. I love Relient K - they're pretty darn awesome....anyway. I was singing this song in my cube for about 10 minutes before I realized that maybe God was speaking to me through it. Here is the part that was stuck in my head:

When I got tired of running from you
I stopped right there to catch my breath
There your words they caught my ears
You said, “I miss you son. Come home”
And my sins, they watched me leave
And in my heart I so believed
The love you felt for me was mine
The love I’d wished for all this time
And when the doors were closed
I heard no I told you so’s
I said the words I knew you knew
"Oh God, Oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you, I needed you"

And I so hate consequences
And running from you is what my best defense is
I hate these consequences
Cause I know that I let you down
And I don't wanna deal with that

I'm humbled that God chooses to speak to me when I hadn't spoken to Him. That he doesn't give up on me when I want to give up on him. And that he loves me too much to let me fall to far away from him.

How does God speak to you?


Faith part 3

Okay all. You know - I have to say this. I fear that the majority of my Christian experience has been based on emotion. You know - like, worshipping God at church when the music is just right and I have the tinglies. Oh I sure know how to come to Him when I am in despair or having an anxious moment. But what about now? Things are going pretty good for me right now (well aside from this crisis of faith). My prayer life falls off durong these times. Why? Because I don't feel I need anything from God right now. I have this desire to know more about God, yet don't really feel like spending time in His word. Yeah I know that the way to get to know someone is by spending time with them and that the same holds true for God. Just because I don't physically feel the goosebumps on my arms when I pray, doesn't mean he is not there. Just because perhaps I don't get all riled up in church like perhaps I have in the past doesn't mean that God has somehow left or His presence has left me or that He doesn't love me...His word is true whether I feel it or not. Its true whether I believe it or not. And you know what - I'm going choose to believe it whether I like it or not!


Believing God

Okay real quick:
At the suggestion of someone I've started reading Beth Moore's Believing God. I really want to share an excerpt with you that I read yesterday:

"If you want to be full of faith, don't argue with a legalist! Love them. Serve side by side with them if God wills. Don't judge them. And don't argue with them! Unbelief is highly contagious. Nothing is logicals about miracles. To the degree that we debate matters of faith, we could find ourselves drained of it. We are not called to debate faith but to do it. To be nouns turned into verbs. Presently. Actively.
Keep seeking. Keep believing. I am convinced that the pure-hearted, faith-filled petitioner is going to behold a miracle. Whether lesser or greater, temporal or eternal, wonder never cease.


Faith - Part 2

You know - in the Bible there are many, many times when a prohpet or teacher was relaying a message to the people and when they did so, often times they would begin by telling of what God had done for them in the past. I think in my current situation - I need to do that for myself. I'm posting it here so that there is no question to me (or anyone else, for that matter) that God 1. exists and 2. that he absolutely is who He says He is.

What God has Done for Me
1. I survived my birth even with being born blue, having no amniotic fluid when the doctor went to break the water, and not knowing how to eat on my own.
2. God has kept me in at least 2 cases that I am aware of from possibly being kidnapped.
3. He has kept me from harm in 3 car accidents.
4. He revealed himself to me when I absolutely needed him to.
5. He has never left me without earthly friendships.
6. He protected me in Detroit when there was gunfire a few houses from where I was standing - outside, alone and at night...
7. He has kept me through 2 surgeries
8. He has always kept a roof over my head and food on my table.
9. He protected me when my apartment was broken into in Detroit
10. He protected me in Alamosa when I thought my apartment had been broken into.
11. He protected me the COUNTLESS times I slid in my car on icy roads.
12. He protected me in several instances where common sense would have told others to get out of there...and I didn't
13. He provided a doctor who treated me on an ongoing basis in Alamosa for free.
14. He kept me safe from online predators.

I know I could keep going...but I don't know if I need to. I think its pretty clear. As I was typing this a verse came to mind:

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
2 Cor. 4:8,9

How true, huh? We ARE hard pressed on EVERY side. We have bills, jobs, kids, worries, anxieties, fears, doubts, and all that before lunch! So we are hard pressed, but you know what - we are NOT crushed. To me that means that while we struggle with things like lacking faith, it is NOT going to be the end. Some of you who have left comments (thank you, by the way) have said that its normal to question God - He expects it almost. Oh to have the childlike faith that I used to have when I was....well, a child.

Okay, I'm beginning to ramble...I am a bit tired, I suppose.................*snore*



Have you ever driven around for a few days with the gas light on in your car? You figure, I can go for another day or so - but actually running out of gas is a constant threat. Well, friends, let me tell you something - my gas light has been on for a while now - I just don't know where to go to fill up. I'm talking about faith, and truthfully, I could use your help here.

Okay, please let me start by saying that I am not ready to throw in the towel, or give up on this whole Christianity thing. Far from it. I've been dealing with this area of faith for a while now - and and seeking advice from you.

So, what is faith? defines faith as: 1. confidence in a person or thing; 2. belief that is not based on proof. Belief that is not based on proof - ouch. I'm one of those people who wants proof (not that knowing what the Lord has done for me isn't proof enough...). I want to see it to believe it. Anyway - I digress - so, what does the bible say about faith?

Hebrews 1:1-3 "1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. 2This is what the ancients were commended for. 3By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible."

2 Cor. 5:7 says "We live by faith, not by sight."

Heb 1:6 "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. "

I thought there was a verse that said something like, "To each one he gave a measure of faith." I can't find that verse. It may not exist, but thats the one I'm trying to find.

Okay - here is what I'm asking. 1. Have you ever been where I'm at before? 2. How do you get more faith? 3. What are your ideas on this subject? Please let me know what you think - I'm going to research too. :) Thanks!