I don't know - you choose the title....

I'm sure I'm not the first one to come up with this "new" thought. Sometimes I have to "choose" to feel or act a certain way, even if I don't really feel that way. Case in point (and I apologize in advance to any male readership - you know who you are...) you know "that week" during "that time" of the month? Well, as I get older I'm finding I'm getting more and more emotional during that time. Not all crying and boo-hooing either. No, one day I'll be sad, but then the next I'll be very annoyed, and then I'll be very angry, and then I'll be depressed, and then I'll finally figure out what week it is, and I'll calm down (a little). Can I hear an AMEN?! Or, another case in point - shyness. Okay, I call some of my recent behavior being shy. You know, standing back and watching group interactions from a distance. Being in a group, but not being a part of the group. Not wanting to stretch myself enough to actually reach out and make new friends. I call it shy, God calls it something else. Pride? Stuck-up-iveness... I think I've said I'm shy because that makes me feel better about not talking to anyone at church or work.

You know, I can be so stinking selfish, too. That is one thing I really want to work on. Something I really need to work on. I tell myself that I am entitled to these feelings and that I can act in whatever manner I choose. But I can't. I just can't. Not only is it not fair to my friends, but my life is supposed to be a living testimony to those around me. To those closest to me. To those who need to see Him through me, because they're not going to see Him anywhere else. I have to keep myself in check, you know?

God was impressing that on me this morning. How can I be a living testimony and I have an attitude, or I'm depressed, or I'm fill in the blank. THEN, once I am a testimony and someone asks about God, how am I supposed to respond if I haven't even been in His word the last week? *sigh* Okay, so back to my initial thought: Sometimes I have to "choose" to feel or act a certain way, even if I don't really feel that way. I may feel shy - but God says that he has not given us a spirit of timidity. I may feel depressed or down - but God says rejoice in the Lord always.

DISCLAIMER: Oh, one last thought - I'm totally not saying that we should suppress our feelings or anything like that. I'm saying that personally I have a tendency to let my emotions control me - and for ME, these are things I, myself need to work on.