This is home

I visited Colorado Springs back in May. I had been looking forward to it for weeks. I had to be at the airport very early...I left my house at 3:30 am to get there (and I still almost missed the plane...) Not only would I be seeing some old friends from the Springs, but Yatron and Pastor Weatherly were going to be there and I hadn't seen them since they left Detroit last August.

If you know me at all, you know I'm barely functioning in the morning. Don't like the mornings, never will. So this particular morning I'm driving to the airport and turn on the radio (to keep me awake) and the song that comes on is called, This is Home, by Switchfoot. If I hadn't been running late I would have pulled over, cause that song hit me that morning.

I've been in AZ for about 10 months, now. Since I've been in here, I've thought about the good 'ol days. Whether its back in college in Alamosa, Colorado and hanging out with friends from church and school there. Or being in Colorado Springs and hanging out with everyone from Compassion and church there. I've even thought back to Detroit and how, even though it didn't end up well for me in Detroit, I still had a family of believers that I could call if I needed to. I think that is why I was so excited to go to Colorado Springs, that weekend. I wanted to get back to the good 'ol days. I hadn't heard this song before that morning. Maybe it wouldn't have affected me so strongly if I had. I realized that I can't go back to how it was. People change, they move, they grow up, they grow apart. Lives go on, cities change, plans change. Maybe I haven't settled in here yet, but thats mostly my fault. I've gotten shy in my old age (some of you can't believe it - others can...). Blah, blah, blah, anyway, all that is to say that I know that God brought me to Arizona. He directed me to my church and gave me a job. He's asking me to lean on him for everything, right now. I'm going to do it, too... Really, I am. I have no other choice. I know he loves me, and I know he has only the best in store for me. I am not going to dwell on the past, and wish things were like they used to be. The truth is when I left Alamosa, Colorado Springs, and Detroit - I was SO READY to leave. I wasn't happy there. Each new place I go I think, "Man, things were so good in Alamosa..." I'm SUCH an Israelite in that sense. I would rather go back into slavery then spend time, free, in the wilderness. Okay, I blah blah'ed like 5 sentences ago, and I'm still talking. I'm done. Here are the lyrics to the song. If you haven't heard it yet, listen to it.

This is Home - Switchfoot
I’ve got my memories
Always inside of me
But I can’t go back
Back to how it was

I believe now
I’ve come too far
No I can’t go back
Back to how it was

Created for a place I’ve never known
This is home
Now I’m finally Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery
I’ve seen the enemy
And I won’t go back
Back to how it was

And I got my heart Set on What happens next
I got my eyes wide It’s not over yet
We are miracles And we’re not alone

Yeah This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home

I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

And now after all My searching
After all my questions I’m gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I’m gonna call it home
Home