Knowing Him

Wow, the last few weeks since launch have been really amazing. I can't believe that launch was 6 weeks ago already. I am learning so much more about Him, and seeing glimpses of who I am in Him. Its awesome. Just when I think I have things pretty much figured out - He adds something else to the mix.

At least it keeps things fresh and interesting!

So things for me right now are pretty awesome. God is doing some amazing things in my life. There are areas of my life where I have sought after Him, and he has answered. Even this week, he has fulfilled one of the desires of my heart. He is just so faithful. Yet, I know there is so much more that He wants for me and from me. Oh, I feel like I'm on the edge of an amazing breakthrough in my spiritual life. Its definitely exciting, and scary....and frustrating, since I'm still just on the edge. :)

I've been listening to a series from Desert Springs called "The Christian Atheist." A Christian atheist is someone who believes in God, but lives their life as if He doesn't exist. Wow. Thats a tough thought, huh? Sort of sounds like being lukewarm. And making God want to puke. Not pleasant. Anyway, they were talking about how we can know all about God. We can know all his attributes, and we can recite scriptures. We can even talk to people about him. But do we really truly know him?

Growing up, I loved Bette Midler (yeah, I know - don't laugh - I'm not normal...) I had all her CD's, all her movies. Anytime she was on TV I recorded her, I cut out all the magazine articles I could find about her. I had her movie posters hanging on my wall at a time when most girls my age had New Kids on the Block posters (we've already established that I'm not normal, okay?). I read biographies on her, I knew she was born in Hawaii on December 1, 1945. That her first movie was called, Hawaii. I knew that she started her music career by singing with Barry Manilow in New York City. I knew obscure information, too, like that her sister was killed by a taxi while on the way to one of Bette's performances. I knew all her songs, and could quote most lines from her movies. I even got my hair permed so that my hair would look like hers did in the movie "Beaches." But I didn't KNOW her. I've never met Bette Midler. I've never even been to one of her concerts. The extent of my relationship with her is built solely on factual knowledge and data that I researched during that time.

I know a lot about God. I have favorite verses that I cling to when I'm scared or worried. I know that He loves me, and that he is faithful, and good, and amazing. But how well do I KNOW him? I know that God loves me because the bible says that He does. But have I let that knowledge travel from my head to my heart? Do I live like I am a daughter of the God of the Universe? I am. I know I am, but do I believe that I am? I have to let go of what I know about God, and start having a relationship with him. I have to stop thinking so much about things, and start just trusting him. I have to let go of my preconceived notions of him, things I've been taught about him and allow him to show me who he is. Its MY relationship with God, not anyone elses. I can't expect to truly know him based on biographies or movies or songs or books ABOUT him. Those things can be helpful, don't get me wrong, but the only way I am really going to get to know Him is by allowing him access to my heart. Allowing him to love me. Allowing him to do work in my life.

So that's my goal. Have an intimate relationship with the God of the universe. Might seem a lofty goal, huh? But seeing as the God of the universe wants to have an intimate relationship with me, I'm thinking it will prolly happen. :)